To feel like you have given someone your all, and it still wasn’t enough. It’s scary. It’s traumatizing. It’s a weird feeling because from that point on you begin to look at yourself different. And you begin to ask yourself questions that never crossed your mind, things such as: What was I missing?
The thing about betrayal is that often we find ways to blame ourselves. Many times, we begin to feel like our partners had a reason to do what they did. I can tell you that from experience. Five years into my relationship my partner cheated. And despite the fact that I knew that he messed up, I still found a way to convince myself that maybe it was the way I was acting. I thought to myself, maybe I argued too much and he finally hit his breaking point, or something along those lines. But what most people won’t accept is the fact that it is their partner’s fault. It has nothing to do with you. We often fall back into a trap of insecurities once we begin to find excuses for our partner’s actions.
Stop.
Accept the fact that they messed up, and stop looking for ways to convince yourself that you’re the one to blame.
Betrayal is always hard to understand. And the absolute worst part is that it comes from the person you confided in the most. You find out the person you trusted was keeping secrets all along and you ask yourself, who even is this person? When you think you know somebody, there’s always something that helps reveal their true colors. It hurts because it’s often unexpected. You begin to feel anger, resentment, and tears begin to fall out of your eyes in the most unexpected moments.
The agony of betrayal is often unbearable, and it is questionable whether there is a more brutal feeling. And sometimes, you feel like you’re finally over it. That you’ve overcome the situation, and suddenly, you’re broken again. You can go on pretending, but deep down in your heart, in your mind, your thoughts, your hurt, will always be there, and you will always remember.
Rising from betrayal may be the absolute hardest part. If this person felt I wasn’t good enough, who should I become? What can I do to make myself better? It hurts because at this point, you feel like you can never be your true self. You feel like that person wasn’t good enough. So you find ways to manipulate your character in a way where you begin to lose focus of your own identity because you are so determined to fit someone else’s standards.
And that’s not the way it should be. You shouldn’t feel like you have to be someone else in a relationship. Overcome betrayal without changing yourself. The problem was never you. Find a relationship that helps you grow, and not one that makes you question yourself by building blocks of insecurities. Understand that your partner’s choices is about them, and could never be a reflection of you, or your worth.
It's Complicated 
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