What’s a relationship without trust? It’s impossible to be happy with someone when your thoughts are constantly driven away by negative thoughts of your partner with someone else. It’s common, very common, in fact, in most relationships.
Trust issues drive you crazy. They do. You could never be at peace. You constantly want to know what’s on your partner’s phone, where they are, and what they’re up to. But trust issues don’t just magically appear in a relationship, they often emerge from a fear of being hurt. Again.
Many people may wonder, if you have trust issues, why not just walk away? It’s much harder than it seems. Once you’ve been hurt, and once you feel like you can no longer trust your partner, something in your heart keeps you holding on. You may feel like although they’ve messed up, everyone makes mistakes, and that they will change. Sadly, that is rarely the case.
Once you forgive someone for their mistakes, it is likely they will do it again. Once your partner knows how forgiving and how weak your heart has become and the soft spot that you now have for them, they will take advantage. And they’ll keep going. And they’ll try to convince you that your trust issues come from an issue that you have within yourself because they could never take responsibility for the hurt and fear that they have caused you.
It’s always something.
With trust issues, you can’t even trust your partner at work. Isn’t that crazy? And sometimes your sixth sense won’t fail you. If your gut feeling is telling you something, believe it. Often times, it’s true. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve heard it all, and their all time favorite response is, “he/she’s just a friend/coworker”. Bullshit.
Once you catch your partner in a lie. They’ll deny it. Trust me. They hate admitting their mistakes, and often they will play the role of victim. You could have pictures, or other types of proof for their lies, and still they’ll look you straight in your eye, and tell you “that’s not me”, or “that’s old”. They’ll do this so much, that you start to question yourself. And at that point, you don’t only have trust issues with your partner, but with yourself as well.
And despite it all, you still feel love. You catch yourself questioning whether it’s you that’s insane, or if your crazy thoughts are actually a reality.
It sucks. And it drives you insane. You sit in class and your mind wanders. Why would you live with that pain? Why do you want to constantly live in a state of paranoia? You’re doing it to yourself. Relationships WILL COME with trust issues. And the worst part of it is, that it could be years into a relationship. It doesn’t have to start right away. It could YEARS later. And all of a sudden five years into your relationship, you catch yourself questioning your partner. Something you may have never done before. And that’s why relationships suck so much. You never know when your partner will switch up on you, but it only takes a second for the trust you had for them to crumble to pieces.
It's Complicated 
I think the best thing about this is that it is so relatable without being cliche. Definitely keep that up! The points you make are things that people, especially college-age, go through almost every day, and you see past the bs that we all tell ourselves even when part of us knows that we’re wrong. I would love to see you get deeper and maybe share real stories (not saying pour your heart out on here but maybe you can tell a story about a friend without using their names or use characters in TV or movies). I look forward to reading this! Very eye-opening 🙂
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Great post, very relatable! Coming from personal experience, I was in a toxic relationship for 3 years with my high school sweetheart. And trust was the biggest reason it ended. Your blog post definitely hit some buried hidden feelings I’ve had all these years. Always go with your gut-because for the most part your gut is ALWAYS right! I love that point you brought up and it is definitely something I strongly advise to all my friends now a days. I am now currently in a healthy relationship and trust from your past relationships can lead into your new ones. So being able to recognize how you’ve been hurt before will absolutely help you grow stronger!
Thanks for this post, I look forward to seeing more this semester.
As Kelsey said above, I would love to see these posts even get more personal about your experiences or others-you can make them anonymous !
Loved the YouTube video you incorporated at the end-very catchy 😂👍🏼
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This is such a great post! Personally, I have not been in a relationship but the words that you express here really give me a feel for what you and others have gone through in a relationship. It sucks because we should not feel that way at all yet it happens. It’s difficult for me to open to people due to trust issues. You do a great job in setting the tone in your blog so continue to do that! I think you should add videos/skits/plays for the topic of your blogs so people who haven’t gone through that could get more of an idea of what it feels like from a different perspective. Overall, great job! 🙂
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I like this post a lot. While I’ve actually never been in a relationship situation like this, your words are put in a way that I can easily see it happening. A lot of the times I feel when people discuss relationships everything seems really exaggerated and so far out there, but your blog is simply realistic in the writing style. As two people have already said, I would also love to read more personal stories. Specific experiences give a whole other level of understanding and connection while reading so I hope you will include it eventually. One minor thing, and perhaps this is more a personal feeling, but I would love to see something other than GIFs. Four in a row was just a little too much for me, throw in a picture, quote, or even blank space to add different meaning. Don’t be afraid to mix it up a little. I can’t wait to read more:)
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It’s not a surprise that your blog post earned a lot of comments and likes because it is highly something we can all relate to. In my previous relationship, it was a little too rushed because we were so excited and young. This backfired twice as a month later, they started to grow feelings for someone else. You mentioned to always trust my gut, but I didn’t over and over until I finally chose to confront them about it. Sadly, my gut was right the whole time. Being the nice person I am, I decided to give them another chance and continue the relationship, but the trust has been damaged tremendously. I started to compare myself to the person they grew feelings for and I would have so many doubts. Almost two years later, we realized that trust was a huge problem between us and we ended up being two different people as time progressed. I’m glad it ended as now I am in a healthy and loving relationship. Relationships are complicated, but you live and you learn!
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I think you nailed the tone. Make sure to keep it up every week. It may be hard to be this “negative” from week to week, but, as you can see, your readers are smart and know what you are doing. It’s hard to write this much about a topic that is so universal and yet make it feel fresh and not cliche (as another person commented), but you achieved it.
Really well done. And great use of media, I actually watched and laughed through the entire video you posted at the end.
Awesome job!
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Great post! Some very real points where made, and everything was very relatable and easy to read. The line “And they’ll try to convince you that your trust issues come from an issue that you have within yourself”, made me stop and let out a verbal “wow”, this was something I never pondered and reading it just sparked a chain reaction of thoughts and self reflection. I would only request maybe some more personal anecdotes or stories from elsewhere to really draw in the reader with relatable material. Other great post, and I look forward to next week!
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