#snapchat – It's Complicated

The worst part about relationships is that once it’s over, you have to deal with the memories. You understand that ending the relationship was necessary, yet you can’t stop thinking about them. You’ve taken thousands of pictures, gone to hundreds of places, just simply done so much with this one person you no longer speak to and it’s a scary feeling. A person that once knew everything about you, is now a complete stranger. Memories can leave a person more hurt that they already are by constantly reminding them of how lonely they truly are.

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With the holidays approaching, it’s even worse. You remember yourself stressing over what gift to get your significant other last year, the cute holiday cards, your new year’s kiss, and now it’s all over. Instead, the holidays become an interrogation from your family members and friends of “what happened with ….”.

And for some odd reason snapchat’s recent update felt it was a good idea to come up with snapchat memories?? Terrible. Now everytime you go on the app you are constantly reminded of how happy you were with them 2 years ago, or even just last year. It’s torturous.

Memories are great and all, but they are difficult to deal with. Especially when you are trying to get over someone. You go to restaurants, movies, or any other place and you are reminded of the time you went to that exact place with your significant other. But now, you’re here alone, or even with friends or family, and it just doesn’t feel the same.

However, often times these memories lie. People often only remember the good in others, and forget how terrible the relationship truly was. Your photos don’t remind you of the miserable moments, instead they remind you only of the happy ones. STOP IT. Forget about it, delete the pictures, and avoid anything that will give you even the slightest feeling of regret as you reminisce.

The minute you let someone in is the minute that these memories will begin to form. But as fast as these memories form is as fast as these people walk out of your life… trust me. And it’s scary to think that two strangers knew everything about each other at a point, but that’s how relationships work. You let someone in, so that they can walk right out.

So, before opening up to someone, understand that once it’s over, the memories can haunt you. These memories prevent you from moving on, and sometimes simply deleting pictures won’t do much. These memories live with you, they are a part of you, and they will be for a very long time.

Don’t put yourself in a situation that can leave you reminiscing during the most unexpected moments. Holidays won’t feel the same. Parks won’t feel the same. Movies won’t feel the same. It’s a scary feeling, but it is definitely a real one. Understand that although relationships die out, the memories live on forever and unfortunately there’s not much that we can do to avoid it.

We live in a generation where social media is a huge part of our lives. We spend our days scrolling through instagram, snapchat, and twitter because it helps us keep up with the world around us.

Because social media has become such an important aspect of our lives, it becomes a very significant part of our relationships. Our partners constantly want to be posted. They want the world to know that you’re with them, and no one else. Social media has become such an important factor in relationships, that if you aren’t being posted, or you’re not posting your partner, that’s a sign of infidelity. It’s ridiculous.

What are you hiding? You don’t want them to see you with me? Why is your snapchat story on custom?

And it’s not even just about what you post and not post with social media, it’s the content you “like” or “favorite” and the friends you have on these apps.

“Why did you favorite that?” For some reason, in many relationships we think that everything our partner does is a sign for something else. It could be completely unrelated, yet we still seem to connect dots and make it an issue of the relationship. We have given social media so much importance to the point where you must limit yourself and the things you may like because it may offend your partner in one way or another.

Why would anyone want that? The hassle of having someone constantly go through your likes and comments and make remarks on each and every one of them is irritating. With this, an app that was meant as a distraction or a pass time has become a foundation for arguments.

We are no longer focused on the intimacy and reality of relationships, instead we’re focused on what’s on their instagram. Social media could never reflect reality. A couple can look completely happy online, and be constantly arguing in person, but people don’t see this. This is something we ignore. It’s not how we feel, it’s how people see us.

You favorite and you like things that you may find funny, or interesting. But in a relationship that’s an “excuse”.

You don’t need that. Trust me you don’t. Enjoy the resources available to you, like social media, as much as you possibly could without limiting yourself to anyone. Relationships will force you to use social media in ways you may have never wanted to. You used it for fun, now you have to use it to prove to your partner that you’re all about them. You use to post funny memes all over your instagram, now every other post must be about your partner. You custom your snapchat story so your mother doesn’t see you out drinking on a school night, but now you have to set your settings to “Everyone can view” to satisfy your partner’s wishes. You stop yourself before liking a picture from an old friend because your partner may or may not take it the wrong way. You never know.

Moreover, some LAME significant other with trust issues may even make you delete your social media accounts, and have one themselves behind your back. They may even ask you to delete certain pictures that to them may be “too revealing” of yourself. DO NOT prioritize one insecure person’s selfish needs. DO NOT stop posting certain pictures if that is what makes you happy.

Social media in relationships is taken way too serious. You must constantly give explanations for EVERY.LITTLE.THING. Don’t waste your time posting someone who will probably end up hurting you. Post yourself, and whatever else you want. Many relationships, if not all, will come with this hassle.

LIFE IS SHORT, POST THAT PIC. LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP.

Tag: #snapchat

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