The worst part about relationships and betrayal is that it almost forces you to come out of character. When you have been hurt, you want the person who made you feel like that to experience the same hurt. So you plan and you contemplate.
You decide its best to take matters into your own hand because karma seems to be taking way too. Although it’s a pain you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy, for some reason, your heart almost forces you to act out and seek for ways for your pain to become theirs. It’s evil. Truly evil.
Thoughts like, what can I do? What’s the best way to hurt them? Mhm. They constantly run your mind. You begin to play with fire
You stop yourself, and think, I can’t do that. That’s not me. But even that won’t stop you from acts of rebellion.
So you do it. Your hurt forces you to come out of character. You do them exactly how they did you.
You’re just as bad as them. Many times we lose sight of our beliefs and morals because our hurt forces us to act in ways that would never cross our minds. After you act a certain way just to get revenge, many times it’ll leave you feeling much worse than you felt originally. It’s no longer a complicated relationship, where your partner is constantly messing up. It’s a cheating game.
Let’s play.
The moment where you begin to seek revenge, is the moment you lose everything. Let things go. Stay away from the relationship and simply walk away. Revenge is one acting out of anger. Many times, doing things you’ll regret. But, relationships will drive you to a mentality you never even knew you had. You’re angry and you’re upset and you don’t know how to control the situation. However, in seeking revenge you may feel a sense of power. You finally have control. Haha. It’s all in your head.
“While seeking revenge,
dig two graves – one for yourself”
-Douglas Horton
After you feel like you’ve gotten your revenge, you lay there and you think, was it worth it? Did coming out of character for your partner’s actions cause you any happiness? It’s already too late. You’re exactly like them. A mirror image. You’re no longer the victim.
It’s a terrible situation to be in. Trust me, stay away. Avoid it at all costs. As soon as you feel a relationship is almost forcing you to do things you would never normally do in the right state of mind, leave. Run, sis, run. It’s not a good feeling. It’s never a good idea to stoop down to someone’s level simply because you don’t agree with their actions. It’s hypocritical because at the end of the day, your hurt remains. What’s worse is the fact that although you’re sincerely hurt, it could never feel sincere because you have this “I did it too” mentality. You force yourself to believe that it’s ok. You’re even now.
Let karma take care of things. It’ll come to them. Revenge is never the answer. The best way to avoid it: stay away from your toxic relationship.
It's Complicated 
I feel as though you are beginning to lose sight of the point of your blog. The mission was to, each week, write a post about why love and relationships suck, and to do so in a humorous way. This week feels like a coda to last week’s post, and not wholly its own. Additionally, the whole tone has shifted into something a bit dark and I’m not sure it fits in with what you were going for before. You are also overusing the second person (you), which felt overly confrontational this week. You don’t want the reader to feel uncomfortable reading your piece.
Something to think about as you consider where to go next week.
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The meme of Kermit made me laugh! It is true that if we take revenge on someone that we will feel worse about ourselves. We act without thinking which is not good. Also, in order to get out of that revenge feeling, we have to move on and not associate with that person anymore. We have to be the BIGGER person! We should not focus on what we could have done by what we could do better when going into a new relationship. I liked this post!
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I feel this so personally. You spell it out so clearly for your reader that, sure, you get it, you’ve been there, but it’s not the answer. I really like that you take the shame out of it and just get real. Revenge is one of those things that show maybe not our true colors but our worse ones. And like your blog says… it’s complicated. Sometimes revenge can feel like a line of defense, but yeah, there are better ways to process the hurt you feel. Thanks for talking about this topic! I feel like people don’t talk about it enough when they’ve done it– only when someone else is doing it to them.
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I like how you’ve been talking about romantic relationships and adding your own opinion on it. The readers can tell that you’ve experienced it, but it’s good that you don’t delve too much into your own experience because then it would just seem too personal. It’s awesome that you have that balance! The only suggestion I have is that maybe you can talk about other complicated relationships-like the ones with best friends or even family. Nevertheless, your blog is cool and I enjoy reading it.
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oh boy revenge. cant say im a big fan of it because it results in someone feeling like crap but it definitely can make you feel better. its never been my thing or anything, I think the best revenge is just letting life play out and becoming happy is probably the best revenge although that sounds stupid. but hey I wouldnt mind if I “accidentally” dropped a hot coffee on her or something.
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After reading your post, I can’t necessarily agree that someone hurting me makes me go on a revenge spree until they have experienced the same amount of pain as me. Everyone deals with pain differently, so I’m not sure if it was a good idea to generalize that most people seek revenge right away. You are very correct though about leaving the relationship and just walking away. This is the route that is the most healthiest out of the other options.
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